It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
