I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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