I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
