i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
