I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
