Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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