I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My penis needs a shock collar
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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