So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
