he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
