is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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