uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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