I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
