you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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