went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
