I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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