Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am available for nakedness
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
