so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
