My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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