I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
