The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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