yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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