i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
