fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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