from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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