im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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