is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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