spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
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