Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
