at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
