and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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