Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
