Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
