you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize