some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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