i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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