I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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