Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
