used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
