There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
