Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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