when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
