it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
