So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
