After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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