Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
