Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
