what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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