We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
