week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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