So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I smell stomach acid.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
