escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
