Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
