U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
