I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
