If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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