I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize