I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
