I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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