we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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