so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
