Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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