All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
