i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
