I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
