its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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