Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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