so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize