im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
