there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
