Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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