Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
