Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
