I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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