you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
