I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
