She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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