Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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