You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dear god my vagina.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
