That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
