He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
