dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
