he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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